Tuesday, February 22, 2011
New Perspectives on Valentine's from Facebook!
It has been entirely too long since my last post! I have made it a priority to get back to a regular schedule & post a lot more regularly - so that is the plan starting today.
On to the post...
I have an idea of what I want to say about the following subject, but it could go in 100 different directions, so I'm a bit curious where it will end up. Love has been on the forefront of my mind this past week. Without getting too personal, basically I have been with my boyfriend for about 9 months and I have felt like we are at a bit of a crossroads. Not really because of any specific situation, and maybe it is just the planner in me - but every so often I like to step back and take a look at what I'm doing in my life and evaluate how it is benefiting me. My poor boyfriend, of course, didn't have any idea that we were at this "crossroads" and we all know how much men love to have serious relationship discussions. But I will give him credit and say that through all of my crying & bitching he listened to everything I had to say without raising his voice or storming off. In my eyes, that's progress! It seems as though we are both willing to work on a few things, and time will tell. Relationships are work -- and if both people want it to work I do believe it can. If there is one thing I have absolutely learned it is that NO relationship is perfect....but people are more than willing to give their opinions. And it is amazing to me how people's perspectives on the same situation can be so completely different - which leads me to what I really wanted to focus on in this post - Valentine's Day!
We are 1 week & 1 day past Valentine's day, and for some reason (probably because I was in a relationship this year) I walked away from this day with some new perspectives on this holiday. I actually think facebook has played a major role in these new perspectives. I am not going to go into my tangent of people professing their love & everything personal through status updates & wall posts. It has become a a major pet peeve of mine - and not because I don't think it is sometimes cute to send sweet messages to the one you love. But there is just something troubling in the fact that things don't seem to be private at all anymore. Anyway, that is for a whole other blog. Back on track -- Valentine's Day and new perspectives --
1. I realized how strongly a lot of men hate this holiday. One of my male friends on fb actually posted as his status, "Valentine's Day is like Christmas for women and Tax Day for men. Screw this holiday." And he has a girlfriend. I truly think that men would not hate this "holiday" if they looked at it from another angle. Men out there -- most every woman I know does not expect loads of money to be spent. It is more about the thought! Honestly, a sweet card & a single flower is enough for most. Or at least it is for me, and girl's I hope you can back me up on this. It's all in how you look at it. Sure it's a made up holiday designed to make money for restaurants, card companies, and florists. And if you want to focus on that fact then go right ahead, but why is it a bad thing to take a day to appreciate the people you love? I think that most people are consumed by work, blackberries & Iphones, facebook, television and all the other distractions in the world that we don't stop enough to really & truly appreciate the people in our lives. My boyfriend was sweet and got me a bunch of stuff from Victoria's Secret (not the sexy stuff, but the PINK stuff I love). But if I'm honest - he didn't have to spend that $90. I spent about $10 on his - but I put A LOT of thought into it. Not that he didn't -- but it was a different type of thought. I do believe there is a difference in degrees of thoughtfulness - and what might seem incredibly thoughtful by one person might be completely overlooked by another. Hello - there is a reason that the book on love languages has sold millions of copies!
2. Then there is the other extreme -- the girl's who say that Valentine's Day is just another day & doesn't really mean anything to them. Here is a post by a female friend on fb: "Glad Valentines is over :) even though [my boyfriend] was super sweet. Thanks babe. I just don't think there should be 1 day for overpriced flowers and cards. If you love someone, let them know everyday. Look them in the eyes and tell them you love them." Can I just take a second and quote one of my favorite movies How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days - "Bull$*&t"!! And I would love some feedback on this - I just find it incredibly hard to believe that if her boyfriend had skipped over the entire day without mentioning anything that everything would've been completely fine! Just like I don't think it is necessary to overspend and go overboard - I most definitely believe it needs to be acknowledged. As I said in the beginning - no relationship is perfect - there are ups and downs. And for a woman to say that it really doesn't matter is just hard for me to believe. At the heart of everything I think we all just want to be loved, by our friends, parents, & significant others. And when the initial "romance" phase is over in a relationship it is days like Valentine's Day that sometimes helps you regain that feeling & excitement. Everyone knows that those first 3 months you are blissfully happy, your new boyfriend/girlfriend can do no wrong, and you overlook everything just to be with them. And so when that time is over and you actually start the "real" relationship it is so important to not forget the romance. Again, they sell books on this men! There is actually a book called Romance for Dummies. So girls, lets not confuse our men with these statements that it is just another day, and doesn't matter.
So that is what I walked away from 2/14/11 with --
How was your Valentine's day? I would love to hear your feedback!